If You've Decided To Use The F Word

Chances are, if you have something nasty to say, I have not only heard it before, but have heard it several times. Thus, if you intend to hurt my feelings, please be creative.Let me help you get started. Here is A Helpful Guide to Words and Phrases That Do Not Hurt: feminazi, socialist, Marxist, ugly, dyke, man-hater, man-eater, misandrist, frigid, sexist, bitch, slut, whore, etc. in all their various incarnations and related terminology. I will be more insulted if you badmouth one of my favorite bands than if you revert to name-calling. Really....

I am not interested in meeting feminist standards of card-carrying feminism. If you read feminist literature, it is likely you have run across the term “feminism(s)” or read that “there are as many feminisms as there are feminists.”

The quotation is an excerpt from a recent diatribe over at feministe. I kind of laughed when I read this part of her post, but it was the kind of laugh that springs from recognition, the kind that can be translated into a small nod of the head or a "yeah."

I've never embraced the word "feminist" to describe my view of the world, and I doubt I'd be mistaken for a Marxist. On the other hand, if I so much as open my mouth in the direction of expressing thoughts about women's status in society, protrayal in the media, or use in marketing, some readers will immediately reply with the F word -- feminist -- in retort to what I have said. Some of those readers are women.

Citing the ever encroaching authority of "the nanny state," these readers seem to want society to put no limits on marketers, and if you object to degrading posts on blogs about women, you will be sure to stir the dregs of hostility into a full-out blogwar. I don't usually advocate writing laws that restrict what marketers can do. Instead, I expect people to vote with their feet and not support organizations (or bloggers) who reap benefits from exploiting others. There are plenty of fine companies and bloggers out there who don't.

In day-to-day life, the situation is usually much different. People aren't so willing to jump out and pin a big F to your chest, but they show their biases in other ways. For example, I have seen men and women alike overtly discount the concerns of women by just denying that they hold any validity or credibility. When I've brought up concerns, myself, I've had men reply "No, that's not true," even to the mostly strikingly obvious of situations. On the other hand, I've also seen men override each other's rights and feelings and have found myself sticking up, at times, for them as well. Accordingly, I find myself feeling simultaneously alienated from and identifying with the word feminist.

Therefore, I've come to a decision: henceforth, I shall refer to myself as an androgynist, equally concerned with the rights of women and men, as well as the exploitation of adults and children, particularly in the media. What does this mean? Nothing, actually, because it's not like I'm going to be actively crusading for or against anything in particular. On the other hand, it will give me a link to point to the next time someone knee-jerkishly replies to one of my posts by using the "F" word simply because they couldn't think of something less hostile and more interesting so say.

If the same readers decide to use the A word, now, instead of the F word, at least we'll be on equal footing, as I know an, admittedly shorter, A word that would nicely apply to people who engage in dialogue like that. In the words of feministe, "If you address me with sarcasm, I likely will address you with the same. One cannot expect a thoughtful and intelligent answer to an unthoughtful comment." If I've directed you to this link because of something you said in my comments section, consider yourself corrected.