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Bullying Resources
For those of you who heard my segment about bullying on CKOM's John Gormley Live this morning or for those who just want more information on bullying, check out these resources:
Comeback lines
Center for Health and Health Care in Schools
Tips for parents
Bully Online
Bullying.org
Bully Beware
Bullying - UK site
NFB resources
RCMP site
Workplace bullying
Mobbing
More on Mobbing
Mobbing (Leymann's site)
Hamilton Discussion Paper (.pdf)
At any age, if you're being bullied, it's important to have someone to talk to about the situation. You need to talk with a person you trust -- a relative, counsellor, friend -- someone who will not minimize the impact that bullying has on you and who is willing to stand by you in tough times.
You also can call these folks and talk to them:
Kids Help (Canada)
Parent Help (Canada)
If you're being bullied or know someone who is, but don't know what to do, please consider consulting a clinical psychologist who can help you sort through your best options. You can find a psychologist by calling your government health department and inquiring how to access free, public psychologists or by looking in your local yellow pages under "psychologists."
If you're in a dangerous situation -- if someone is threatening to hurt you or already has, call the police. Bullying is wrong.
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Comments
It was great to hear your segment on the radio Theresa. Now only if John liked me enough to have me on the air for a gay marriage debate. ;-)
Posted by: Todd | Feb 4, 2005 1:36:24 PM
HA! You should ask him to do that. I can't say whether John *likes* me ;) In person, John's a really great guy -- very classy and compassionate, in my opinion. It was fun for me to see "the master" at work, and I got to sit in "the prime minister's chair" -- very cool -- right up there with my sitting in the speaker's chair in the H of C -- equally cool.
Posted by: tz | Feb 4, 2005 1:42:00 PM
I'm going to share an observation I had a long time ago - in fact, when I was leaving high school, that I think may go some way to explain why teachers seem so incapable of taking bullying and ostracizing (just as bad) seriously.
When I left high school, about 1/3 of my classmates went into education. It was a class of 16, and 8 of us had started grade one together.
Know which ones they were? The ones who had a blast in school, were the envied kids, who formed the top niche in the school food chain.
They enjoyed school so much, they couldn't bear leaving.
Posted by: Kate | Feb 5, 2005 1:32:48 PM
That's an interesting observation and fits with some research I've seen regarding the ability of teachers to understand and relate to/approve of youths whom they teach. Similar arguments can be made regarding discrimination, such that, if a person has never experienced it, it's hard to understand how it happens and how it can make a person feel. Your comment points to the very important role of staff education. You can teach people about bullying, just as you can teach kids about how/why not to bully. Your very interesting observation, if true, would support even further the need for stakeholder education (teachers, other school staff, administrators, parents, students).
I have delivered a number of training seminars for guidance counsellors, teachers, administrators, students, and parents. I always hear the same thing at each seminar -- more training is needed for everyone regarding the nature and impact of bullying, as well as ways to remedy it.
Fundamentally, everyone needs to work together. As I said on the radio, if you are successful in getting a bully/bullies to stop targeting one particular kid, the bully/bullies will just switch to a different target.
That's why a multi-level intiative is so important that extends beyond the boundaries of school property because, after all, student relationships also extend beyond the boundaries of school property. The province's school-wide, community integrated plan is good, but it does require integration within the school curriculm, as the most effective anti-bullying programs have demonstrated to us already.
Posted by: tz | Feb 5, 2005 3:57:13 PM
[The following is the opinion of the commenter.]
Hello. I would like to make a comment regarding support groups for targets of bullying. Via email I contacted the creators of the site: "No Bully For Me" site based out of Vancouver, Canada. When I recounted the workplace bullying that I was experiencing, the site administrator "Karen" minimized & trivialized what I was experiencing by saying, "don't worry, things will get better". Supposedly, as I am led to understand, she has direct experience with being the target of bullying, & yet, she made this comment. This comment on her part indicated to me that either she is ignorant of the realities concerning bullying, &/or she is ignorant of the damage this kind of comment has on the target of bullying. I am extremely upset at receiving this response. Both from personal experience & from literature on the subject of bullying have indicated that bullying does not just "get better" or "magically stop". This comment on her part is the same sort of comment I've received from therapists when seeking help--that's why I'm no longer seeking help.
Posted by: prefer to remain anonymous | Feb 23, 2005 1:20:10 PM
While I suppose it's possible for a bully or bullies to stop targeting a person, you are correct in saying that bullying doesn't usually just magically disappear. Also, for people who have been bullied in the past, their experience of that bullying can result in emotional distress, which could reduce their ability to access help or effectively respond the next time they are bullied. I don't know much about the site you contacted (No Bully For Me), as it's not one of the ones I linked to above.
I don't think you should allow the opinion of people, especially nonprofessionals who minimize your concerns, to detract you from seeking good help for yourself. If you are looking for help, you might consider contacting the public mental health system in your area or a local psychologist who can give you some professional guidance in terms of how to cope with your own experiences and situation.
If you are in Vancouver, or somewhere else in BC, you should contact your local Health Authority. You can go to the following site for information on how to contact BC health authorities for mental health services:
http://www.healthservices.gov.bc.ca/socsec/contacts.html
Please don't give up just yet, as better help is available so that your situation possibly can improve in future.
Posted by: tz | Feb 23, 2005 1:37:48 PM
